Tag: roommate
“Tall Boy, you’re the tallest guy in this room. You wouldn’t even need a ladder!”
— I was looking for bad riverdale quotes and some idiot included the best one in their list? fucking clowns
oh to be a small clothed animal from a beatrix potter book, living in a cottage on the countryside kneading bread and such.
my roommate just dropped her phone down the side of the couch for the third time in the three months we’ve lived here. neither i nor chinchilla have this problem with the couch. for some reason i’m the only person with the spatial reasoning and engineering skills to retrieve it, which is performed by maneuvering a scarf into the side of the couch with a long knitting needle and using it as a sort of phone rescue sling.
every time it happens she stares at me miserably for a long moment, like perhaps she thinks i ate it
yesterday my roommate got mad at me because i saw him eating kit-kats and said “oh, so you’re a little kit-kat boy, are you?” and then i had a dream about him killing me
must a sport be entertaining to watch? 