new favorite brand of humor:

nausicaaharris:

mixing different kinds of scales, such as:

The Scoville-Schmidt scale, for measuring how many wasps you can eat

The Schmidt-Fujita scale, for measuring wasp storms

The Kinsey-Kardashev scale, for measuring how gay a civilization is

The Mohs-Scoville scale, for how measuring hard a pepper is

The Mohs-Kinsey scale, for measuring how glam you are

The Kardashev-Scoville scale, for measuring how civilized a pepper is

pointless-letters:

‪We can dream, Gill. We can dream. ‬

rgr-pop:

then I evaluate the processes of the modern world
hoping this evolution thing moves quick enough to make things work
macromutations, macromutations
a major morphological change
produced by a single homoerotic genetic monstrosity
the material basis of all the boys and girls
who’ll change your world
will mutate and merge
til they save the world

(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)

the-thrill-be-damned:

ah yes, that universal emotion, that well known meme, “sharing a laugh with a giant tardigrade”

gurdydraws:

I fudged the quote in the last one so here’s an updated, correct version.

namira:

fruitsoftheweb:

powerfrog:

Share if you long for the good old days…

“History of Life Part 3.“

terrible-tentacle-theatre:

UrbanDictionary is wild

femmenietzsche:

GOOD NEWS: I was just thinking to myself that life has been an endless horror show of pointless suffering for the last four billion years, but then I realized that the suffering really only extends back 500 million years or so to the evolution of the first nervous system. Considerably better!