suicide tw mostly metaphorical

deciding that i feel too bad to do things and should just go to sleep feels sort of like deciding that this particular me is too useless and should be killed in favor of a future version of me that will be hopefully better but at least different

itooru:

no similes, we die

at 8AM a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of it pronouns

dankmemesreasonforliving:

anxpost

i am so scared of classes starting, which is not an experience i’ve had in ages. i love taking classes, i especially love bio classes which is all i’m doing this quarter

it’s just that i spent the whole summer being extremely sick/occasionally straight up bedridden in like four different ways and i am convinced that im no longer capable of doing things or being functional

maximum fear. maximum fear. i want a wild animal to eat my legs so that everyone will understand why i can no longer go anywhere or do anything

the problem with reading nine dorothy sayers novels in two days is even your depression thoughts start sounding like a late-1920s british female member of the peerage, not overblessed with stoicism or common sense, but with a heart of gold and occasionally very useful in a pinch

“my god, life is positively too beastly for words, isn’t it? i really think i may just lie down and expire this time, i really do. don’t you wonder sometimes how anyone even goes on? i think i shall shut myself up inside the dumbwaiter.”

shiftythrifting:

a very unsettling plate found in Cracow, Poland

rn i can access both anxiety (acute, restless, causally oriented but only questionably causally locatable) and apathy (sleepy-tired, bored, headache, a puzzling quiet or lack of qualia) but they’re both making me procrastinate work as i read and attempt to comprehensively survey my scalp with my fingertips, so i guess i should take apathy?

my long term goal is to surgically remove parts of the inside of my mouth as an anxiety management technique

you ever just …… fear