💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

after extensive testing we can confirm that the answer is, definitively, no.

first i’ll apologize; then i’ll talk over the incident with others to see if i can figure out what i did to deserve it; then i’ll address the person about it, exactly once, and probably apologize again; then i will worry about it forever, because it might happen again, and i still won’t know what i’m doing wrong. in the fullness of time, i might decide to talk to them less, in hopes that one of us might be eventually injured less with decreased exposure, although which one is anyone’s guess.

alternately, if they’re at all nice about it or willing to acknowledge that i’m an entity who might just possibly have a subjective experience just like a real person, i will lose the ability to be upset about it almost instantly.

you may notice that neither of these options involves me being rude, although both involve an almost perpetual willingness to have bad things happen to me, which is a winning strategy that has never caused me any problems.

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

social interaction with basically anyone who i like and can carry on a conversation as long as they’re nice to me in it. ocean’s eleven. live music. hot showers, unless i pass out, which almost never happens. mbmbam, which should be embarrassing, but you try living in your brain all the time and tell me how that goes.

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

honestly, a cat. people like to hold and pet cats. also no one could get mad at me for not replying to texts, because cats don’t have thumbs. no one could try to make me do things, either, because you can’t make cats do things. it is a losing proposition.