Tag: genderbox
one time while we were in the car andrew said “i basically think your gender is whatever robot body you would choose to have in a transhumanist future, but then again, that would make my gender a featureless floating orb” and i think about that a lot
haha so this is probably abundantly obvious but i’m nonbinary! or something! “genderfluid”? i’ve been having versions of this revelation and then quietly putting it away again for like, at least a year, almost certainly more– sometimes in public on my blog, so, again, u all know this already probably. right now i like the name Fin for online and use either she or they pronouns (i do like they, though). All of which is to say that very little is changing in this space.
(@ IRL friends: i may also try using “they” in public/physical-world contexts soon but i haven’t decided for certain yet.)
i know i don’t feel very attached to my “real name” and am not sure what i’m doing about that yet? maybe nothing, we’ll see. i am definitely going to cut my hair, at last, after wanting it for half a decade.
oh and im still a lesbian.
i was so euphorically pleased about my outfit yesterday (brown leather men’s shoes, black pants, white button-down, men’s tweed vest, and gray blazer– i know that sounds like some really wild neutrals work but i swear it functioned) that it caused me actual, literal anguish to have to take it off so i could shower and sleep
and today i resigned myself to strange slinky feminine layers and lots of jewelery instead because the idea of trying to recapture that feeling, of sitting on my bed in a tweed vest and rolled shirtsleeves and hair up off my shoulders, and failing, was much worse than the idea of seeming slinky and feminine, especially since i could at least mitigate it by seeming strange and goth in addition to feminine…
so that’s a datapoint.
when stylists say “youll look bad with your hair short” they dont mean youll look bad they mean you wont look traditionally feminine and therefore youll look bad. its irrelevant how bad or good you actually look.
think about this: most men in western society have short hair. do people ever say to these men, “no your face shape won’t work with this haircut.”
no; because every face shape works with short hair.
I guess I’ve never felt entirely female, but then probably lots of people don’t. But I think that at different times in my life I located myself in different places on the gender spectrum, and for many years, throughout my thirties which is when I did that pilgrimage, I didn’t have any connection to the female gender. I wouldn’t say I exactly felt like a man, but when you’re talking about yourself you only have these two options. There’s no word for the “floating” gender in which we would all like to rest. The neuter comes up in the unbearable poem, the neuter gender, but that doesn’t really capture it because you don’t feel neuter, you feel just wrong. Wrong vis-à-vis the gender you’re supposed to be in, wrong vis-à-vis the other one, and so what are you?
Historically we use man for people of any gender because men win. So it’s useful to do that when cornered.
Anne Carson, in an Interview for the Paris Review (via thegeekyblonde)
must a sport be entertaining to watch? 