littledeludeddupes:

regular size dogs, the standard by which all variant dogs are compared to, the vanilla dog, are dogs. they often produce slimes and cause ruckus. i actually find dogs in general harder to get close to than cats? dogs are weird men who cant read and crawl on the ground. dirty boys who can be troublesome. they are utilitarian animals who like to help and be good though and are very admirable in nature. they come in lots of fun customizations and you can add cosmetic items to your dog for flavor, or go au naturel. i have great respect for these fucked up men of the dirt as should all people

small dogs are a point of much contention as they are often heinously fucked on a biological level. ive never been all that affectionate towards them because in my mind one of the best parts of dogs is their bigness, however, when i spend some time with a small dog i usually wind up thinking “okay i understand why people like these so much.” some good points of small dogs is that theyre very portable and, in general, small. theyre very dumb and rowdy like all dogs but with a smallness twist and often i think that they are gremlins or perhaps a small demon like a imp. they are naughty men but they certainly have a purpose

bighuge dogs are a very special type of dog indeed. they are so so so so huge and large and big. i respect strongness and hugeness very much on a personal moral level. there are a few downsides to a dog so huge, they are a great and sacred responsibility. if this big huge man wants to cause trouble and mischief you may not be able to stop them because they are, and i cannot overstate this, so much a big boy. but their legs are so mighty and their form is so Good. this is a dog for the dedicated but in my opinion very worth it. you must earn this good dog

***BONUS*** longdogs, these strange long men are most certainly fae in nature, we all know this. they function in mysteries and riddles. this dog is built for speed and dexterity and is a good template for those who want to go the spellcaster route. ive heard tales from people who say that theyve lived in areas where most people have retired racing greyhounds and that there were just insanely fucked up jacked just totally diesel greyhounds all over the place and i think that would be scary as hell. this is a dog whose power youve got to acknowledge

in conlusion: i started typing this and just didnt stop. i cant explain my poetry often. dogs are dirty rowdy lads and id like to gain a deeper understanding of them. we have to do right by them because theyre very important and they trust us. thank you

chaoticdirt:

“Are we going to thrive? Are we going to thrive, Goosey, or are we going to wither? Are we going to thrive within the framework of the system or in spite of it? Ouch! That’s right, Goosey. I feel pain. I feel many types of pain.”

—My dad talking to our dog, Goose, first thing in the morning