i mean. i knew this, which is why i, volunteer for a cancer research education program, and also work as a TA, and am also strongly considering getting a teaching job after grad school, but like: christ
sometimes i feel bad that i spend most of my time at work alternating between working and fucking around, but in the last two workdays two different coworkers have just blatantly taken naps on their desks and sometimes people just don’t show up until 12 but still leave at 5, so like
guess what today is everyone! it is my SECOND 4-hour-minimum skype meeting that starts (“starts”) at 7PM
like– meetings go long sometimes, ok. meetings have to happen at weird times and be teleconferences, sure, that’s what it means to do work that involves international collaborators
but somehow it all just feels so avoidable. we’re having this meeting so that we can sit through each fellowship participant’s 10-minute research proposal presentation and then ask them questions about it, and it just– it really feels like there’s a better way. i don’t know what precisely it would’ve been, but there definitely is one
(that’s a lie, i do know what it would’ve been. just send everyone a packet of the 1-pg proposal writeups we all also had to prepare, and let us have these conversations in our two hours of dedicated meeting time in like two weeks when they’re all HERE, it’s not like our input actually matters for this bc all of their actual project content will be decided with their PIs anyway so it really doesn’t need to be happening before we’re all, yk, in the same time zone)
im dying at the acronym of the World Register of Marine Species
i realize this makes my frenzy of terror only more ridiculous in retrospect but guess whom has a TAing job for the fall
well ok im also afraid bc im acutely aware that i don’t, in fact, know anything, and am not really qualified to TA the class
i may have an unexpected interview tomorrow for the TA position i’ve coveted for years and i am so unbearably anxious
sometimes i’m like “am i sure my old job was as terrible as i say it was?” but then other times i walk into the bathroom at work and realize that i think of it primarily as “a bathroom” and not “the place i go to hide every morning for the first 20 minutes after i get to work so i can spend as little time as possible in a public space where one of my supervisors might talk to me”