well i finally kind of solved a problem by realizing that if i sleep as though i’m on my side from the waist down, but as though i’m on my front (with a pillow wedged under one shoulder) from the waist up, then i don’t fuck up my neck by twisting it 90˚ all night from sleeping on my front, or fuck up my shoulder by crushing it forward & under me from sleeping on my side

the downsides of this are 1. that i might wind up hurting my lower back by keeping my hips and ribcage at different orientations many nights in a row, and 2. and more pressingly: that i am haunted, while falling asleep, by a persistent conviction that i look absolutely ridiculous

euch, i hate…. metaphor….

by which i mean of course that i write almost entirely in metaphor and i like it fine but god if only i were good enough at words to pull off the direct cut, without needing to retreat into the edges of a thing so i can try to draw its outline without making everyone sick on too much sugar…