gandower replied to your post “i am driven absolutely to distraction by the…”

i’m trying to get that package in the mail but my mom is gonna have to take it tomorrow. sorry!

omg do NOT be sorry, you are doing me an extraordinarily kind favor and whenever works is beyond great

i am driven absolutely to distraction by the distracting/comforting/satisfying (same thing?) thought of/experience of knitting— intermediate skill mastery + adjustable difficulty/focus + aesthetic/research/thoroughness/discernment taste-ego satisfaction + crucially, the sensory-physical involvement, hand motions to quiet already heavily suppressed needs for (hyper)activity, softness, the extreme indulgence of buying knitting needles as much for their beauty as their functionality

rn i can access both anxiety (acute, restless, causally oriented but only questionably causally locatable) and apathy (sleepy-tired, bored, headache, a puzzling quiet or lack of qualia) but they’re both making me procrastinate work as i read and attempt to comprehensively survey my scalp with my fingertips, so i guess i should take apathy?