i had a long and ridiculous dream that was also an entirely plausible episode of riverdale, read on for prophetic riverdale spoilers

part one was an enormous, elaborate, very high stakes grand jury trial investigating… jason’s death, but again, and this time archie was a suspect! after a lot of time where he said stupid anxious things while his dad patted him manfully on the shoulder, archie was cleared and the investigation was inconclusive.

cheryl was enraged by this, and in her known role as the third branch of law enforcement in riverdale, took matters into her own hands. first she broke into betty’s house, had a friendly conversation with betty about the two of them working together, and then, while betty was busy, climbed into her ceiling, entered the crawlspace above the bathroom, and then set a bathtub full of water on fire as a warning to betty about how cheryl would find the truth.

then she told reggie and archie to take some of her extremely flammable special Blossom Chemicals (???) to go find [random other people tangentially involved with jason’s death], who were currently at a “concert” (burning man, but in a deciduous forest), and to set their car on fire as a similar warning. archie and reggie decided the best way to achieve this would be to travel there by stolen school bus, while disguised as poorly-disguised undercover policemen. this part of the plan succeeded. however, they were unable to set the car on fire, because they fucked up the chemicals & also lack cheryl’s magical fire powers.

then i woke up

anyway that’s season 3