hey fellas last night i took a medication which is more or less the anxiety equivalent of a horse tranquilizer & essentially enterred the fifth dimension of sleepwalking in which i awoke but enterred a dissociative fit so strong i was really confused why my loving girlfriend was not my good friend and fellow viking bjorn, who i had to bring some furs to. also i might’ve cried about this. don’t remember
was informed i left out the best part of this 3am experience which was the bit where i, in tears, gestured to our dog and shouted, “i don’t know what this is!”
bruh you astral planed so hard you fell back into a past life
PLEASE read this Minecraft wiki article about what happens when you travel millions or even billions of blocks from the spawn point in certain versions of Minecraft. Apparently the normal Minecraft map, while already unimaginably huge, is only a tiny speck in the middle of the Minecraft universe, most of which is fucked up.
Choice excerpts, asides in [] added by me, not necessarily in order:
“The majority of the generated world is Corner Far Lands”
“Much of the open space in both areas [the Corner and Edge Far Lands] is shrouded in darkness”
“The flooded zones have an abundance of squid [Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!]”
“The top layer tends to light incorrectly in day-night transitions. This is because the sunlight calculation doesn’t work when the entire chunk is blocked at Y-coordinate 128.”
“At sea level massive floating beaches can be found, which will collapse if modified.”
“The Corner Far Lands is also prone to having near-perfect diagonal lines being carved into the ceilings or floors of layers. If traced, these lines all intersect at the corner (X/Z ±12,550,821).”
“after X/Z 32,000,000 the terrain no longer generates.”
“If terrain were to theoretically generate out to the 64-bit Limit (X/Z: ±9,223,372,036,854,775,807), then the hitbox would be over 2.2 trillion blocks off”
“the intense lag that is characteristic of the Far Lands is caused by massive numbers of falling sand or gravel entities. This in turn is caused (like most of the rest of the Far Lands’ strange effects) by more floating-point precision errors”
“Chunks will begin to shake. These effects will then double for every power of two that you walk away from the spawn point.”
“Lightning bolts that hit surfaces at the top of the map (Y-coordinate 127) will be invisible and will not cause a fire. The particles created when rain hits these surfaces will be black instead of blue. Snow will not accumulate on these surfaces either (because there’s no space).”
“As the player journeys even deeper into the Far Lands, the effects worsen to the point where the game is unplayable. At X/Z ±32,000,000 blocks are treated as permanently nonexistent, and will not generate, even though they may appear to. When Minecraft generates and loads chunks, it loads an empty version of the terrain, complete with grass, stone and water textures that can’t be walked on.”
“If the player tries to walk on this map, they will fall into the void.”
“It will sound like the player is always walking, even if they are not.”
“At X/Z: ±2,147,483,519, blocks are no longer rendered, giving way to an empty sky.”
“Beyond here, only the sky, sun, moon and void remain.”
“Because 1.7 x 10^308 is the maximum number that Java can understand, it caused the player’s X coordinate to roll over to read “Infinity”.”
“Here is unfenced existence:
Facing the sun, untalkative, out of reach.”
– Philip Larkin
Even the wiki corrections needed messages at the top have a poetry:
deciding that i feel too bad to do things and should just go to sleep feels sort of like deciding that this particular me is too useless and should be killed in favor of a future version of me that will be hopefully better but at least different
must a sport be entertaining to watch? 