deciding that i feel too bad to do things and should just go to sleep feels sort of like deciding that this particular me is too useless and should be killed in favor of a future version of me that will be hopefully better but at least different
suicide tw mostly metaphorical
- Tagged
- ''alone and quiet with that very self which was too miserable to functionally focus on anything [self-evident]''
- ''relinquishing all chance of continued interaction with others [wasting most finite and maximally precious resource]''
- ah. the crab trap of the psyche.
- box opener
- but which seem to include ''conceding that i will not be able to do anything more [useless]''
- glass box
- i am sometimes very afraid to go to sleep for reasons i cannot identify
- on the other hand going to sleep means decreasing the constant risk of the worst sad behavior
- so you know i arrive at ''i should be killed for the sake of sparing others''
- that is my emotional state.
- which is certainly not a new thought for me and is often the very thought i am supposed to go to bed to escape
- which is that at any moment i will invite someone to come throw comforting meat into the eternal sausage grinder of futility
Published
must a sport be entertaining to watch? 